Felix Auger-Aliassime: The Maple-Leaf Messiah Who Forgot to Read the Script By *Dave’s Senior Correspondent for Existential Tennis Meltdowns* PARIS—Somewhere between the first and second espresso this morning, the global tennis-industrial complex realized it has been stood up at the altar again. Felix Auger-Aliassime—Canada’s polite, 6-foot-4 answer to the question “What if a royal guard…
Nigel Farage: The Man Who Weaponised Nostalgia and Won the World’s Attention By Dave’s Locker International Desk The planet’s pundits spent years dismissing him as a pint-sized sideshow in pin-stripe, yet Nigel Farage has quietly become the Brexit Age’s answer to Rasputin: apparently un-killable, faintly perfumed by beer foam, and still pulling strings long after…
RedZone: The 21st-Century Colosseum Beamed to Your Flat Screen, Pub, and Probable Dystopia By Sebastian “Bas” Mortensen, International Correspondent, Dave’s Locker LONDON—It’s 6:57 p.m. GMT on a Sunday when the Sky Sports satellite uplink crackles alive above a Shoreditch sports bar already vibrating with cheap lager and existential dread. Inside, punters from four continents hush…
After a week in which global headlines ping-ponged between genocidal drones, collapsing democracies, and whatever new cryptocurrency Jesus was minting this month, the name Jasveen Sangha arrived on the world’s front pages like a polite cough at the end of a bar fight. Most readers outside California first encountered her in the grainy federal mugshot:…
Rachel Reeves and the Art of Global Fiscal Schadenfreude By Our Man in a Grey Cloud Somewhere over the North Sea There are moments, usually around 3 a.m. in a hotel bar in Frankfurt, when one realises that the entire planet is simply a vast, badly-run hedge fund with mood lighting. Enter Rachel Reeves, the…
Man of Tomorrow: A Species Still Learning to Tie Its Own Shoelaces By Our World-Weary Correspondent in Residence Geneva – While the rest of us were doom-scrolling through inflation charts and wondering whether our passports will expire before the next coup, the United Nations quietly unveiled its latest white paper: “The Man of Tomorrow: A…
Jeff Bezos, the man who turned a modest Seattle garage into a global empire so vast it makes the East India Company look like a weekend lemonade stand, is still very much the gravitational center of Planet Capitalism—even after stepping down as CEO of Amazon. From the vantage point of a world that can’t decide…
Geneva, Switzerland — While diplomats at the Palais des Nations were busy drafting strongly-worded press releases about climate, trade, and whatever crisis will trend next week, a far more consequential summit was taking place three tram stops away. Inside a pop-up showroom that smelled faintly of espresso and existential dread, Garmin unveiled the Fenix 8…
TinyTan and the Global Shrinking of Attention Spans By Our Correspondent, Still Recovering from a 7-Second Reel of Existential Dread SEOUL—Somewhere between the DMZ and the nearest duty-free Bulgogi stand, seven pastel figurines the height of a credit card have become the most efficient diplomats South Korea never hired. TinyTan—BTS reimagined as chibi mercenaries—now storm…
Florida’s Surgeon General, Joseph Ladapo, has quietly become America’s most efficient exporter of confusion—an impressive feat in a country that already ships reality TV, deep-fried butter, and unsolicited military advice to every corner of the planet. While Washington haggles over debt ceilings and Beijing perfects the art of the passive-aggressive communiqué, Ladapo has cornered the…
From the Ruins of the American Empire, a Six-Stringed Consolation Prize Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk | 12 June 2025 Paris—It is 2 a.m. on the Rive Gauche and the bistros have finally run out of rosé. Somewhere between a tab of questionable MDMA and a heated debate on whether NATO still exists, a busker breaks…
Jeff Driskel and the Curious Case of the Disposable Quarterback By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, somewhere over the North Atlantic If the American experiment in late-stage capitalism had a mascot, it might well be Jeff Driskel—an itinerant quarterback whose career arc resembles a Ryanair flight plan: cheap, indirect, and perpetually delayed. The 31-year-old…
