Dave's Locker – Page 1674 – Your Digital Treasure Chest

International | Trending

New Covid Symptoms Go Global: Micro-Déjà Vu, Pancanadache, and Other Luxuries of Late-Stage Pandemic Life
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

Geneva, Switzerland — The World Health Organization convened its emergency committee this week to consider an elegantly bureaucratic question: what, exactly, should humanity start panicking about now? The answer arrived in a neatly formatted PDF titled “Updated Clinical Spectrum of SARS-CoV-2 Infection, Revision 14-b (Track Changes Enabled).” Buried between footnotes on aerosol persistence and a…

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International | Trending

Licence to Shill: How Aaron Taylor-Johnson Became the World’s Most Politicized Jawline
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

Across six time zones and in languages that still can’t agree on how many “l”s belong in “travelling,” the planet’s chattering classes have lately fixed on a single, improbable unifier: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, the 33-year-old Englishman who looks like he was drawn by a committee of hormonal Renaissance masters. From Berlin’s U-Bahn ad panels to Seoul’s…

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International | Sports

MLB Playoff Bracket: America’s Annual Geopolitical Flowchart Masquerading as Sport
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

If you squint at the MLB playoff bracket long enough it starts to look like a Rorschach test for geopolitics: twelve blots of color arranged in neat little brackets, promising order where none actually exists. From a barstool in Montevideo or a rooftop in Lagos, the diagram is less a sports schedule than a coded…

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International | Sports

Alexandra Eala’s Global Coup: How a Manila Teen Is Serving Geopolitics with a Side of Topspin
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

Alexandra Eala’s Left-Handed Apocalypse: How a 19-Year-Old From Manila Is Quietly Redrawing the World Map By the time Alexandra “Alex” Eala toppled the world No. 2 clay-court sphinx in Madrid last month, the geopolitical implications were already ricocheting through the global press like a mis-hit ball off a carbon-fiber frame. In Beijing, sports bureaucrats ran…

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Uncategorised

padres standings
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

From the vantage point of a press box that smells faintly of IPA and failed expectations, the San Diego Padres’ current perch in the National League West standings looks less like a baseball story and more like a geopolitical parable. At 23-25, the Friars sit five games behind the Dodgers—an outcome that, if you squint,…

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International | Trending

Global Enchantment: How Stevie Nicks Became the World’s Favorite Apocalypse Soundtrack
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

PARIS—On a rain-slick Tuesday in Montmartre, a busker in a crushed-velvet cape is murdering “Rhiannon” on an out-of-tune accordion. The gendarmes yawn; the tourists film it for TikTok. Somewhere above us, orbiting satellites are still broadcasting Stevie Nicks’ 1975 vibrato to yurts in Mongolia, co-working pods in Lagos, and a Russian oligarch’s panic room in…

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International | Trending

Alexandra Daddario’s Eyes: The Global Soft-Power Weapon Nobody Sanctioned
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

The Curious Case of Alexandra Daddario: A Global Study in Eyeballs, Algorithms, and the End of Civil Discretion By Our Bureau of Soft-Power Archaeology The first time the planet truly synchronized its collective blink was 2014, somewhere between Crimea’s annexation and the last Malaysian Airlines tragedy, when a GIF of Alexandra Daddario’s eyes—those crystalline pools…

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Uncategorised

gervonta davis
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

Gervonta “Tank” Davis has never filled out a customs form in his life, yet he exports violence with the efficiency of a multinational arms dealer. At just 28, the Baltimore southpaw has turned concussive left hooks into a globally traded commodity: pay-per-view rights sold from Lagos to Lahore, highlight reels dissected in Seoul sports bars,…

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Current Events | International

Global Sunrise Briefing: How the World Says ‘Good Morning’ While Pretending Everything’s Fine
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

Good morning, planet. The phrase itself is a geopolitical anomaly—cheerful, optimistic, and about as reliable as a cease-fire in a sandbox. Every dawn, 7.9 billion humans attempt the ritual: a grunt in Lagos, a bow in Kyoto, a WhatsApp voice note from a cousin who definitely screenshotted your last conversation. Yet behind the pleasantry lurks…

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International | Trending

June Squibb: The 94-Year-Old Action Hero the World Didn’t Know It Was Waiting For
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

June Squibb, the 94-year-old Nebraskan who has spent most of her life politely waiting for the planet to notice she could act, has finally become a global phenomenon. One wonders if the Earth simply ran out of younger people willing to risk their hips on a speeding mobility scooter for art. In May, Squibb completed…

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International | Technology

NASA’s Asteroid Punch: How Humanity Proved It Can Save Earth While Still Destroying It
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

**The Cosmic Reality Check: NASA’s Asteroid Ballet and Earth’s Delusions of Invincibility** While humanity busies itself with the terrestrial absurdities of TikTok trends and cryptocurrency crashes, NASA has been playing cosmic billiards with a 560-foot space rock named Dimorphos—proving that somewhere in the universe, something actually gives a damn about our collective survival, even if…

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International | Politics

Mark Kelly: The Senator Who’s Seen Earth From 400km Up and Still Can’t Fix Arizona
ByDaveslocker 23 September 2025

Mark Kelly and the Terrifying Luxury of Orbital Perspective Dave’s Locker – International Bureau The first thing you notice when interviewing people who have left Earth is that they all return with the same smug serenity of someone who’s found the cheat-code to existence. Astronaut-cum-senator Mark Kelly is no exception. While the rest of us…

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