Shawshank Goes Global: How a Novella, a Film, and a Whispered Hope Became the Planet’s Favorite Prison Break By the time the Berlin Wall came down, Andy Dufresne had already tunneled out of Shawshank State Penitentiary—twice. Once through Stephen King’s 1982 novella, and again in Frank Darabont’s 1994 film, which by then had been smuggled…
**The Global Countdown: When Dancing with the Stars Starts and Why the World Holds Its Breath** While Ukrainian civilians huddle in subway stations and Somali families calculate the kilometers to the next functioning well, a rather different countdown grips the collective consciousness of humanity’s more fortunate corners: the premiere date of Dancing with the Stars….
Rio de Janeiro—Early evening, and the Atlantic is doing that postcard trick where the sun melts into the sea like cheap margarine. Somewhere behind me, a vendor hawks caipirinhas to German influencers who will later post “good-vibes-only” captions while their home government debates whether sending Leopard tanks to Ukraine is still gauche. Brazil, ever the…
Cody Bellinger: A Center-Field Metaphor for the Post-Globalization West By the time the jet-lagged Tokyo Dome crowd had stopped bowing politely at his routine fly-outs earlier this spring, Cody Bellinger had already become more than a ballplayer—he had morphed into a walking, gum-chewing allegory for the late-capitalist order itself. Once crowned National League MVP, now…
**The Last Global Middleman: How Funeral Directors Became the World’s Most Reliable Growth Industry** While Silicon Valley scrambles to disrupt death with cryogenic startups and “digital legacy” apps, an ancient profession is quietly enjoying its most profitable millennium yet. From the neon-lit funeral parlors of Tokyo to the candle-scented chapels of rural Sicily, funeral directors…
Harrison Bader and the Tragicomedy of Global Citizenship By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, Somewhere Over the Atlantic PARIS—While the French Senate debated whether to irradiate Japanese oysters and the Bundesbank quietly updated its “In Case of American Default” PowerPoint, Harrison Bader—yes, that Harrison Bader, the human highlight reel from Bronxville—was introduced to 40,000…
**The Global Theater of Task Cast: How Humanity’s Endless To-Do Lists Became Our New Religion** GENEVA—In a world where nuclear treaties expire like milk and democracy comes with a 30-day trial period, humanity has found its new opiate: the sacred art of task casting. From Silicon Valley’s glass temples to Mumbai’s chai-scented coworking spaces, we’ve…
James Walkinshaw and the Great Global Disappointment By our man in the departure lounge, nursing his fourth miniature bottle of airline merlot Somewhere over the mid-Atlantic, in the sardine-tin glow of seat 37C, the name James Walkinshaw flickered across the in-flight Wi-Fi like a half-remembered punchline. Passengers from Lagos to Lima glanced up from their…
Caracas, August 2025 – The last time Venezuela made this many foreigners nervous, the price of oil was still measured in single digits and nobody had yet invented the phrase “special military operation.” Today, as the country lurches toward yet another election that may or may not happen, the rest of the planet is discovering…
Stephen Miller and the Global Export of American Dysfunction by our correspondent in the Departures Lounge, Terminal 3, World History While most nations outsource widgets, microchips, or seasonal fruit, the United States—ever the innovator—has begun franchising its grudges. Exhibit A: Stephen Miller, the 38-year-old senior advisor who looks like the last surviving barista at a…
Anthony Rizzo and the Geopolitics of a First-Baseman’s Elbow By Our Man in the Dugout Bar, Somewhere between Caracas and Queens Somewhere in the world tonight, a war correspondent is filing copy on grain futures while Anthony Rizzo’s cervical fusion is trending above a failed cease-fire. That’s not a punch-line; it’s merely Tuesday. The Yankees’…
Every four summers, the planet tilts slightly on its axis—not from any cosmic wobble, but from the collective psychic tremor of 130 million Mexicans holding their breath. El Tri, the itinerant national soap opera disguised as a football team, staggers onto the global stage again, and the rest of us pretend we have better things…
