International

International | Sports

From Jesuit Shadows to Spartan Glory: How a Boston College–Michigan State Game Became the World’s Weirdest Soft-Power Briefing
ByDaveslocker 7 September 2025

Boston College and Michigan State—two universities whose names conjure images of crisp autumn Saturdays, over-caffeinated freshmen, and the faint smell of burning tuition money—met again on the gridiron last weekend. From a distance, it looked like just another collegiate turf war: helmets clacking, alumni wallets snapping open, marching bands playing fight songs that sound suspiciously…

Read More From Jesuit Shadows to Spartan Glory: How a Boston College–Michigan State Game Became the World’s Weirdest Soft-Power Briefing
Current Events | International

Global Schadenfreude: How ITV’s ‘Win Win’ Became the Planet’s Favorite Morality Play
ByDaveslocker 7 September 2025

ITV’s “Win Win” and the Global Glitter of Manufactured Hope By “Lucky” Lachlan Grimble, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker Somewhere between the collapse of the Turkish lira and the re-election of a man who sells $60 Bibles in the United States, ITV quietly rolled out “Win Win,” a game show that promises contestants a lifetime salary…

Read More Global Schadenfreude: How ITV’s ‘Win Win’ Became the Planet’s Favorite Morality Play
International | Sports

Louisiana-Monroe vs Alabama: How a 63-7 Blowout Became the World’s Favorite Distraction
ByDaveslocker 7 September 2025

The World Watches as Two Southern American Colleges Duke It Out—And Pretends to Care Geneva, Switzerland – While the United Nations Security Council was busy debating the finer points of who gets to veto whom this week, an arguably more urgent geopolitical flashpoint erupted in the American Deep South: Louisiana-Monroe versus Alabama. Yes, the Warhawks…

Read More Louisiana-Monroe vs Alabama: How a 63-7 Blowout Became the World’s Favorite Distraction
International | Sports

How NC A&T vs UCF Became a Global Parable of Climate, Capitalism, and Unpaid Labor
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

The North Carolina A&T Aggies versus the UCF Knights is, on paper, a football game so geographically modest that a European could sneeze and miss it. Yet this September collision in Orlando—part of UCF’s annual “Let’s Try to Look P5 While Still in the AAC” showcase—offers a perfect micro-dose of the global malaise we all…

Read More How NC A&T vs UCF Became a Global Parable of Climate, Capitalism, and Unpaid Labor
Analysis | International

Sky-High IOUs: How Venezuela’s Aging Jets Still Terrify Global Accountants
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

Caracas, Tuesday, 03:17 a.m. local time—while most of the hemisphere was arguing on social media about whether a pop star’s costume change constituted a diplomatic incident, a pair of Venezuelan Sukhoi Su-30MK2 fighters punched through the night sky above the Caribbean. Their afterburners carved orange scars across the darkness, a reminder that in certain corners…

Read More Sky-High IOUs: How Venezuela’s Aging Jets Still Terrify Global Accountants
International | Sports

Golden Bears, Global Parables: How a Mediocre College Team Explains the End of Empire
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

Cal Football, or How a Struggling Pac-12 Side Became a Metaphor for Late-Stage Empire By “Special Correspondent in Mild Exile,” Berkeley-adjacent BERKELEY—While COP28 delegates argued over commas in Dubai and the European Central Bank quietly asked Italy for its next fiscal miracle, 50,000 souls filed into Memorial Stadium last Saturday to watch California Golden Bears…

Read More Golden Bears, Global Parables: How a Mediocre College Team Explains the End of Empire
Current Events | International

Global Countdown at 10:59 p.m. ET: How the World Pauses for a $2 Dream Called Powerball
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

What Time Is the Powerball Drawing? A Global Synchronization of Irrational Hope By Our Correspondent in the Cheap Seats Every Wednesday and Saturday at 10:59 p.m. Eastern—exactly when decent people in most latitudes are either asleep, drunk, or both—a set of numbered balls is sucked through a Lucite tube in Tallahassee and the planet briefly…

Read More Global Countdown at 10:59 p.m. ET: How the World Pauses for a $2 Dream Called Powerball
International | Sports

Gridiron Geopolitics: How Army vs Kansas State Became the World’s Most Watched Proxy War
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

West Point cadets, Kansas wheat farmers, and a global audience of insomniacs tuning in at 3 a.m. from Singapore to São Paulo—welcome to the latest episode of “America’s Collegiate Gladiator Hour,” where a football game between Army and Kansas State is sold as a clash of civilizations rather than what it really is: two groups…

Read More Gridiron Geopolitics: How Army vs Kansas State Became the World’s Most Watched Proxy War
International | Sports

UNC vs Charlotte: How a College Hoops Skirmish Became the World’s Favorite Distraction
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

UNC vs Charlotte: A Microscopic Proxy War in a World Already Burning By Our Correspondent in the All-Too-Cozy End Times Raleigh—If aliens ever bothered to tune in to earthling “sports,” they’d probably mistake last night’s North Carolina vs UNC-Charlotte tussle for a particularly well-choreographed food riot. Two bands of unpaid laborers—sorry, “student-athletes”—chasing an inflated sphere…

Read More UNC vs Charlotte: How a College Hoops Skirmish Became the World’s Favorite Distraction
Analysis | International

How a Small U.S. College Football Rivalry Explains Global Power, Supply Chains, and the End of Days
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

The Palmetto Putsch: How One Tiny U.S. College Rivalry Quietly Explains the End of the World As We Know It By Correspondent-at-Large, Dave’s Locker Global Desk Columbia, South Carolina—population 136,632, humidity 200 percent, general bewilderment immeasurable—was briefly mistaken for a geopolitical flashpoint last Saturday when South Carolina State and the University of South Carolina met…

Read More How a Small U.S. College Football Rivalry Explains Global Power, Supply Chains, and the End of Days
International | Sports

Ice, Iron Curtains & Instagram: Chris Evert’s Global Afterlife as Tennis’s Last Cool Diplomat
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

PARIS—Somewhere between the genteel pop of champagne corks on the Champs-Élysées and the less-genteel pop of another dislocated knee on the hard courts of Melbourne, Chris Evert keeps resurfacing like a polite ghost at the banquet of modern sport. The woman once known as the “Ice Maiden” still skates through global conversations—usually right when some…

Read More Ice, Iron Curtains & Instagram: Chris Evert’s Global Afterlife as Tennis’s Last Cool Diplomat
Analysis | International

The Global Wake-Up Call: How ‘The Morning Show’ Became the World’s Most Expensive Alarm Clock
ByDaveslocker 6 September 2025

Good morning, planet Earth—please adjust your screens for regional bias and residual sleep. Somewhere between the 5 a.m. call sheet in Burbank and the 8 p.m. rerun streaming in Jakarta, “The Morning Show” has become the planet’s most over-qualified alarm clock. Apple TV+’s glossy dismantling of breakfast television is no longer just a prestige drama;…

Read More The Global Wake-Up Call: How ‘The Morning Show’ Became the World’s Most Expensive Alarm Clock