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Analysis | International

The Fourth Amendment Goes Global: How America’s Privacy Paranoia Became the World’s Favorite Authoritarian Excuse
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

The Fourth Amendment: America’s Most Exported Paranoia By Dave’s Foreign Correspondent-at-Large (currently self-quarantining in a non-extradition country) The Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution—protecting the citizenry from “unreasonable searches and seizures”—reads like a quaint postcard from 1791. On the front: powdered wigs, candlelit parlors, a polite knock before His Majesty’s agents rummage through your snuffbox….

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Analysis | International

Dirtbag Billionaire Goes Global: How the World’s Richest Slackers Became Accidental Emperors
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

Dirtbag Billionaire: A Global Field Guide to the New Gilded Age’s Anti-Hero By the time you finish this paragraph, another hoodie-clad centi-millionaire will have declared himself a “dirtbag billionaire” on a podcast recorded from the cargo hold of his Gulfstream. The phrase—equal parts self-deprecating marketing stunt and accurate character assessment—has already achieved the rare linguistic…

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Analysis | International

Global Economy Runs on Ariana Grande Tickets: How Pop Concerts Became the New International Currency
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

**The Sweetener Index: How Ariana Grande Tickets Became a Global Economic Barometer** In the grand theater of late-stage capitalism, nothing quite captures the zeitgeist like watching grown adults mortgage their futures for three hours of perfectly choreographed regret. From Tokyo to Tulum, the Great Ariana Grande Ticket Scramble of 2024 has evolved from mere pop…

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International | Sports

From Warsaw to World Markets: How Fabiański Quietly Became the Planet’s Most Overqualified Safety Net
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

Fabianski: The Last Firewall Standing Between Global Schadenfreude and Polish Existential Dread By “Łukasz” (because who else would write this?) WARSAW—On most Tuesdays, the Vistula still smells faintly of diesel and regret, which is fitting because that’s about when Łukasz Fabiański—goalkeeper, accidental diplomat, and the closest thing Poland has to an international insurance policy—realizes he…

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Analysis | International

Wetherspoons: The Accidental Global Superpower Serving Cold War and Colder Beer
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

Wetherspoons: The Last Honest Embassy on Earth An International Correspondent’s Field Notes from the Imperial Pub Chain by “Marlowe” – filing from the Salisbury, Fleet Street, over a £2.15 “breakfast stout” The United Nations has 193 member states, but only one issues its own currency in the form of laminated beer mats and calls its…

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Business | International

UNH Stock: The World’s Favorite Bet on Not Dying Broke
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

UnitedHealth Group’s ticker, UNH, has become the planet’s barometer for how much we’re collectively willing to pay not to die. From Singapore to São Paulo, analysts watch the same squiggly line crawl across their Bloomberg terminals, interpreting each uptick as proof that sickness remains the world’s most reliable growth industry. The stock hit another all-time…

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Current Events | International

Global Grill-Out: How Smokey Bones’ Collapse Signals the End of Cheap Meat & Easy Times
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

Smokey Bones Falls Off the Spit: A Post-BBQ Requiem for a Carb-Loading Civilization By Our Man in the Charcoal Cloud, somewhere between Doha and Detroit The emails hit inboxes like a wet napkin on a Formica table: Smokey Bones, America’s 61-location temple to smoked meats and bottomless fries, is quietly shuttering another tranche of restaurants….

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International | Sports

Łukasz Fabiański: The Last Sane Man in a World That Won’t Stop Shooting
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

From the banks of the Vistula to the Thames, and now somewhere between Warsaw and the M4, Łukasz Fabiański has spent the better part of two decades demonstrating that the best way to survive modernity is to stand perfectly still while everyone else runs in circles. A goalkeeper, yes—but also a walking metaphor for every…

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International | Sports

Haru Urara: How Japan’s 113-Race Loser Galloped Into Global Hearts and Capitalist Memorabilia
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

# The Loser That Launched a Thousand Memes: How Japan’s Winless Wonder Became the World’s Favorite Underdog If you’ve spent any time online this week, you’ve probably seen the clip: a glossy brown racehorse charges down the home stretch, legs pistoning, jockey crouched like a panicked origami crane—only to finish stone-cold last, again. Meet Haru…

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International | Trending

Global Puzzle Panic: How the NYT Connections Grid for Sept 9 Became the World’s Accurate Metaphor for Everything Wrong
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

Word Games as World Order: How a Quiet September 9 Grid Became the Planet’s Most Democratic Power Struggle By Tomas “Tommy” Verdier, Senior International Correspondent, Dave’s Locker VIENNA—At 3 a.m. local time, while diplomats at the UN snored over draft resolutions on carbon credits, 3.4 million civilians from Reykjavík to Rabat were locked in a…

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International | Politics

Sher Bahadur Deuba’s Fifth Act: Nepal’s Gerontocracy Charms the World Again
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

Kathmandu’s weather is famously unreliable—monsoon one minute, smog the next—so it’s fitting that Sher Bahadur Deuba has popped in and out of the prime minister’s chair more often than a Himalayan teahouse changes its Wi-Fi password. On 13 July 2021, the 75-year-old liberal warhorse saddled up for his fifth non-consecutive term, a feat that would…

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International | Sports

Ange Postecoglou: The Last Football Romantic in a World Owned by Spreadsheets
ByDaveslocker 9 September 2025

Ange Postecoglou: The Last Optimist in a World That Has Already Called It a Day By Dave’s Locker International Desk Somewhere between the North London traffic and the existential dread of a Tuesday Champions League press conference, Ange Postecoglou continues to insist that football is about “the beautiful game” and not merely a quarterly EBITDA…

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